Previous English captain Lewis Moody has announced he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet deal with the full ramifications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was a member of the 2003 championship side and secured numerous English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after discovering he has the disease.
"There's a certain facing the future and being reluctant to completely absorb that at the minute," he said.
"This doesn't mean I am unaware of where it's progressing. We comprehend that. But there is definitely a hesitation to confront the future for now."
Moody, conversing with his wife Annie, explains conversely he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his current wellbeing, his family and getting ready for when the disease deteriorates.
"Perhaps that's surprise or maybe I deal with matters in another way, and once I have the information, it's simpler," he added.
First Symptoms
Moody learned he had MND after observing some weakness in his shoulder while exercising in the gym.
After physical therapy didn't help the issue, a number of scans revealed neural pathways in his neurological system had been compromised by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're rightly extremely emotional about it, but it's so strange because I think nothing's wrong," he added.
"I don't feel unwell. I don't feel poorly
"The signs I have are very minor. I have some muscle loss in the hand and the shoulder region.
"I'm still able to performing anything and everything. And hopefully that will carry on for as long as is possible."
Illness Development
MND can develop quickly.
As per the non-profit MND Association, the illness claims a 33% of people within a twelve months and over half within two years of identification, as swallowing and respiration become harder.
Medical care can only slow worsening.
"It's not me that I am upset for," commented an moved Moody.
"It's about the sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Family Impact
Talking from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by feeling when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the devastating news, commenting: "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was rather devastating," Moody remarked.
"We sat on the couch in crying, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog leapt across and started licking the moisture off our faces, which was quite amusing."
Moody explained the focus was staying in the present.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be so intensely concentrated on just welcoming and enjoying each moment now," he stated.
"As Annie said, we've been really lucky that the only real decision I made when I retired from playing was to devote as much duration with the kids as attainable. We can't reclaim those years back."
Player Connection
Elite athletes are excessively impacted by MND, with studies indicating the rate of the condition is up to 600% greater than in the wider community.
It is thought that by reducing the oxygen obtainable and creating injury to nerve cells, frequent, strenuous exercise can trigger the condition in those already vulnerable.
Athletic Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in recognition of his brave, unwavering approach to the game.
He participated through a stress fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once sparked a training-ground altercation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he left a tackle pad and commenced engaging in physical contacts.
After coming on as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the rear of the set piece in the crucial moment of play, setting a base for half-back Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the match-winning drop kick.
Backing Community
Moody has previously informed Johnson, who skippered England to that title, and a couple of other previous team-mates about his medical situation, but the rest will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a period when we'll need to lean on their assistance but, at the moment, just having that kind of love and acknowledgment that people are present is what's important," he commented.
"This game is such a wonderful family.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even when it finished now, I've appreciated all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you get to call your enthusiasm your profession, it's one of the greatest honors.
"Achieving this for so considerable a period with the groups that I did it with was a joy. And I know they will want to help in any way they can and I anticipate having those talks."
